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I heard my chem madam is gonna run a 20+km race. She talked as if 20km is a big deal because of the last 5km, cause she felt fresh even after 10 km, and 15km was no kick, but the last 5 would be a problem..For some reason, I wanted to run a 10km run to feel how it feels like again to run such a distance, so I tried it today. Ran with billet, really felt like dying towards the end, hmph. Its really a test of mental strength man, and I think Jiayi’s mental strength is probably the strongest, cause for a girl who is usually less physically inclined in terms of sports and fitness, she totally own me in running la. Hmph, what kinda drugs did she take.

Went to church this morning, learn some stuff about catholics and anglicans from cynthia, and apparently they’re quite similar. Today I thanked God for sustaining me throughout the entire studying period, and helping me be mentally prepared for the exams. Did I pray for good results? Nope, never did, never would, and never believed that we should. =]

The Prayer

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

La luce che tu hai
I pray we’ll find your light
nel cuore rester�
and hold it in our hearts.
a ricordarci che
When stars go out each night,
eterna stella sei

The light you have
I pray we’ll find your light
will be in the heart
and hold it in our hearts.
to remember us that
When stars go out each night,
you are eternal star
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
quanta fede c’�
when shadows fill our day

How much faith there’s
Let this be our prayer
in my prayer
when shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

Sognamo un mondo senza pi� violenza
un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternit�

We dream a world without violence
a world of justice and faith.
Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours
Symbol of peace, of fraternity
La forza che ci d�
We ask that life be kind
� il desiderio che
and watch us from above
ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
intorno e dentro s�
another soul to love

The force his gives us
We ask that life be kind
is wish that
and watch us from above
everyone finds love
We hope each soul will find
around and inside
another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

� la fede che
hai acceso in noi,
sento che ci salver�

It’s the faith
you light in us
I feel it will save us

Pencil and ink

Acquaintances come and go, leaving behind pencil marks on the sheet of our well-being. Thoughts were pen down,  vocabulary exchanged, and the general sequence of events continues. Most people are represented by nothing but faint pencil sketches, while some might be pen in black ink, and in extreme cases, they represent overflowing of ink, so much that the sheet might tear.

While you take the middle portion of my card, though written in pencil, it will never fade away. For materially, it is nothing but shredded graphite, but deep within the sheet of my soul, it is in fact invisible ink, barely noticeable, yet evidently engraved.

I heard this during the last morning devotions I had in ACJC. Before I forget, let me document it ’cause I think it is so so real.

“All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

  • Share everything.
  • Play fair.
  • Don’t hit people.
  • Put things back where you found them.
  • Clean up your own mess.
  • Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
  • Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
  • Wash your hands before you eat.
  • Flush.
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  • Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  • Take a nap every afternoon.
  • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
  • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum.]

He spoke to me, I think. Whatever it is, I will heed His call.

A new beginning

Yesterday was baccalaureate service a.k.a. last day of school. Had a really great time with my class, this time not faked, no pretence, just genuine enjoyment. I will really miss my class, not so much about the school, but more of the people that I’ve known, and the people I’ve spent my JC life with. My CCA mates, the dancers, were a significant chunk, but above that, still, I put my class as number one. When I say people, it doesn’t just refer to my classmates, but also the teachers. All the various subject tutors that we had, who’ve painstakingly guide us through our retardedness and nonsensical intelligence, to groom us to be ready for the future. JC is such an experience.

I will miss my class, I already do, but everything has to come to an end. The class of 2SA1′09 just graduated, and graduation is just a phase, non congruent to the separation of the class, hence what jiayi said, ‘are you ready for the new beginning?’, I hope I am.

3 things I miss most about college. First would be assembly at the J1 seats. Looking at everybody being so sleepy, random chatting with classmates that we don’t usually talk to, interacting with my form tutor and see what did he not do that requires me to help him out again(like attendance sheet which he occasionally forgets, haha). Also there was this rule during our J1 time, that the class rep(that would be me) is supposed to sit beside the form tutor and the assistant would sit beside me, this is to facilitate any new information that needs to be passed down from the form tutor. In J2, since our form tutor switched, the rule was automatically nullified. But I enjoy the occasional J1 seating plan that despite us being J2s we have to abide to. Basically, I like sitting beside my assistant for weird reasons. The good thing was, despite nullification of the rule, she still sits beside me lol.

The 2 other things I miss most wouldn’t actually be about college, but what we do after college hours. Performances would be one, right after dance productions, we usually go out for celebrations, eatings, sharings and chilling out till the sun pops up the next day. Really cool. And the next thing I like would be the outings we have, with either class or CCA mates, which is usually accompanied with a lot of camwhoring.

I’m looking forward to exams, and the end of exams, and what comes after that =)

Capturing the essence of time,
is different from capturing time itself.
For the essence is usually buttered with lime,
like what being happy does to good health.
Capturing light, freezing moments,
colors our sight, with jovial omens.
Capturing the mood, looking back it lights up kindlings,
a mix of emotions so nude, appropriate for a happy ending;
or should I say, a new beginning?

So here’s some photographs:)

Climbing the school fence is one of those golden memories:)

Climbing the school fence is one of those golden memories:)

My PW group, YTF! (yong tao foo)

My PW group, YTF! (yong tao foo)

Reaching out to others in the school community! haha

Reaching out to others in the school community! haha

the pull-up bar with adi!

the pull-up bar with adi!

the truth and dare group, with jiayi crashing in! :D

the truth and dare group, with jiayi crashing in! :D

DSC00583

the usual 4 retarded scholars! jump-shot @ failblog lol

the usual 4 retarded scholars! jump-shot @ failblog lol

2SA1 <3

2SA1 <3

Dangerously apt.

Am I ready for a new beginning? Another of those you-left-me-stunned questions from the same individual.

I’m ready, if you are. Complement me would ya?

Listen
I’d be a liar if I told you
That I didn’t see it coming
Be more of a liar if I said
Hey I didn’t want it to be something
You deserve much better
For the love that you have shared
I know you won’t believe it
But girl I swear
That I got love for you
Big love for you
Even when I’m tripping
The fact remains that
You will always be my baby
My baby

But dig the truth
Baby, dig the truth
I can’t hide my feelings
Especially when the whole world can see

[Chorus:]
That my heart is in two different places
I got you in my life and I wanna do right
But it’s hard to let it go
When my love has two different faces
And I can’t break ties cause they both look right
Someone tell me what’s a man to do
When he’s loving two
And he don’t wanna lie
But he can’t tell the truth

What’s a man to do
When he’s loving two
But he can’t keep his heart
In two different places
In two different places

I know you feel it cause you stay
There is much more to this story
But I’d be a fool to say
I trust her and I’m always gonna love her
You know that you don’t wanna hear

[Verse Two]
I been living on the edge baby
So I guess yea baby
She ain’t nothing but she is real
But why take her through it
When I still got love for you
Big love for you
Even when I’m tripping
The fact remains that
You will always be my baby
My baby

But dig the truth
Baby, dig the truth
I can’t hide my feelings
Especially when the whole world can see

[Chorus]

What’s a man to do
When he’s loving two
But he can’t keep his heart
In two different places
Not in two different places

[Hook:]
I wanna tell you it’s over
That I ain’t thinking of her
I wanna really mean it
That I want you to see it
That I’m really trying to leave her behind
And I’m trying not to make you cry
I wanna tell you that
I ain’t playing games and I’m dedicated to receive a change
But when I look in the mirror
It’s the same old man

[Chorus]

What’s a man to do
When he’s loving two
But he can’t keep his heart
In two different places
Not in two different places
Not in two different places

I got hooked on this song the first time I heard it, I think its damn nice. And somehow Usher can convince me that its quite pitiful when a guy has two person he loves, rather than the usual “screw u fickle minded player” reaction. Recently I’ve been listening to this soooo soo often but somehow I’m not bored of it yet. Hehe.

School’s been okay I guess, I’m spending my final two weeks in JC, did quite some reflections, and I don’t know how to describe my feelings. Not that my classmates and I are very close or anything, we’re just..classmates, the only thing tat binds us is the class. That would be no more in less than 10 days time, wonder how we’ll fare after that.

Somehow in this class, I can’t really be who I am. There’s a certain level of pretence that I have to put up. I’m willing to serve, willing to be generous, willing to do whatever I can to make the lives of students in my class more enjoyable, but on the other hand, I want to be myself. Sadly only in front of a few classmates only can I bare my true self, to the others, I’m just ignorant arrogant irritating Arthur.

The humble will be spat on, be humble anyways. Press on, urgh!

Anything: a smile, a poke, a glare, a wave, a whine, a burden, an origami, a task; it’s enough for my own good.

Its for your own good

I hate it when people always resort to using this particular sentence, whenever they realize that they are unable to win you over in an argument. “Don’t argue with me, you’re the one that’s gonna lose out not me, so if you don’t wanna listen, be my guest, its your loss remember that!” I can tell its only an excuse, ’cause if you really don’t wanna listen, they will just get back at your ass and we’ll have another argument all over again.

If it were really my loss, and if its really all about me, then I should have a choice whether to abide by their rules or not. Everything has a rationale, and I respect that, even if it troubles me. But I hate such ways of ending an argument, “its for your own sake.” yea rite, sometimes that so called “assistance” is uncalled for, and unnecessary.

Today I found something that was all along with me, but I din’t bear a thought to notice it.

“It’s a bit squashed. Hope you don’t mind. Anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy your day ahead : ) “

I wished that they were said instead. With a genuine voice. With a genuine smile.

Words written on tissue paper when you can’t mouth them.
Not the first time.
That your prerogative?

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