If the world’s gonna end at 2012 anyways

Roaming the streets at 3am wouldn’t be that much of a big deal. Staying up all night, not sleeping or resting, just purely playing and fooling around, is the right way to live life to the fullest. Unhealthy dietary indulgence of MacDonald burgers is the ideal meal for each hungry moment.

All this might hold some truth, if the world is indeed gonna end at 2012. What a self-assuring consolation for my screwed up lifestyle. LOL.

It’s been awhile since I stayed up like that. Walking in orchard road when there are nobody else around. Going pass meridien, with all those karaoke girls dressed up in skimpy clothing, and some of them drunk till they can’t walk, swaying from left to right in the arms of another man. Strolling through hawkers, where bunch of men gather to drink beer as they watch sports channels on TV. Such an experience, but it wouldn’t be any fun without those bunch of friends=]

The air back there

Went out, watched a movie, walked 10 rounds at least around each of the 5 floors, and talked like there’s no tomorrow. It felt good really, such a relaxing day with no strings attached, but the social connection between 2. It’s been centuries since I caught up with my childhood sweetheart.

Nah it’s just a friend, got’cha din’t I? =P

But really, the air back there ain’t that bad at all. I should go back again =]

..

Actually, it’s my homeland, duh I’ll go back=.=

Sugar! Ice! None of that was nice?

I ordered a cheeseburger without cheese!
I wanted to listen to music but I shut my com ’cause I thought it was noisy!
As soon as I thought that I got rid of loneliness, it just creeps back on!
My eyes are heavy, ready to sleep, but I just cannot!

Argh. The irony of life.

I dreamt of it again. Why must I dream of it every Sunday morning right before church, I really wonder. If only I live in a world where dreams do come true, my body would probably be filled with endorphins alone and nothing else. Happy dreams, happy happy… I wish I’d find the courage to one day wake up and start realizing the dream.

And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

I don’t want but want.

Ever had thoughts you know you shouldn’t have, but you just can’t help but think about? Thoughts, or dreams that you wish you could live in, in worlds other than your fantasy’s? Hopes that you don’t even know its good or bad, ’cause it can really go both ways, to satisfy, or to devastate?

I don’t even know if a wish to purge these thoughts is even good, ’cause such thoughts, just like life itself, is more grey than anything else. Just like how controversies enforces the need for rational thinking, such thoughts question our value system and philosophies in life. Perhaps the struggle to awake from such dreams in pursuit of fulfilling it in reality might result in collateral damage on one’s self-esteem, (or idealistically actually create a happy ending,) right now, staying idle in my dream world seems to be the most attractive option. Excuses are always rampant so there is no need to seek validation in that, but what matters most is…I wish you’d tell me.

Thank God for the human mind, and the troubles that they bring.

…..

oh I just found this line from Dorisa’s blog, thought it kinda made sense.
“You know you truly care about something, or someone when you have to try and convince yourself that you don’t.”

Test of your mental strength?

I heard my chem madam is gonna run a 20+km race. She talked as if 20km is a big deal because of the last 5km, cause she felt fresh even after 10 km, and 15km was no kick, but the last 5 would be a problem..For some reason, I wanted to run a 10km run to feel how it feels like again to run such a distance, so I tried it today. Ran with billet, really felt like dying towards the end, hmph. Its really a test of mental strength man, and I think Jiayi’s mental strength is probably the strongest, cause for a girl who is usually less physically inclined in terms of sports and fitness, she totally own me in running la. Hmph, what kinda drugs did she take.

Went to church this morning, learn some stuff about catholics and anglicans from cynthia, and apparently they’re quite similar. Today I thanked God for sustaining me throughout the entire studying period, and helping me be mentally prepared for the exams. Did I pray for good results? Nope, never did, never would, and never believed that we should. =]

The Prayer

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

La luce che tu hai
I pray we’ll find your light
nel cuore rester�
and hold it in our hearts.
a ricordarci che
When stars go out each night,
eterna stella sei

The light you have
I pray we’ll find your light
will be in the heart
and hold it in our hearts.
to remember us that
When stars go out each night,
you are eternal star
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
quanta fede c’�
when shadows fill our day

How much faith there’s
Let this be our prayer
in my prayer
when shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

Sognamo un mondo senza pi� violenza
un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternit�

We dream a world without violence
a world of justice and faith.
Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours
Symbol of peace, of fraternity
La forza che ci d�
We ask that life be kind
� il desiderio che
and watch us from above
ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
intorno e dentro s�
another soul to love

The force his gives us
We ask that life be kind
is wish that
and watch us from above
everyone finds love
We hope each soul will find
around and inside
another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

� la fede che
hai acceso in noi,
sento che ci salver�

It’s the faith
you light in us
I feel it will save us

Pencil and ink

Acquaintances come and go, leaving behind pencil marks on the sheet of our well-being. Thoughts were pen down,  vocabulary exchanged, and the general sequence of events continues. Most people are represented by nothing but faint pencil sketches, while some might be pen in black ink, and in extreme cases, they represent overflowing of ink, so much that the sheet might tear.

While you take the middle portion of my card, though written in pencil, it will never fade away. For materially, it is nothing but shredded graphite, but deep within the sheet of my soul, it is in fact invisible ink, barely noticeable, yet evidently engraved.

So you think you’re wiser than a kid.

I heard this during the last morning devotions I had in ACJC. Before I forget, let me document it ’cause I think it is so so real.

“All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Don’t hit people.
• Put things back where you found them.
• Clean up your own mess.
• Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
• Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Wash your hands before you eat.
• Flush.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
• Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Take a nap every afternoon.
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
• Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum.]

I swear i could almost hear it

He spoke to me, I think. Whatever it is, I will heed His call.

A new beginning

Yesterday was baccalaureate service a.k.a. last day of school. Had a really great time with my class, this time not faked, no pretence, just genuine enjoyment. I will really miss my class, not so much about the school, but more of the people that I’ve known, and the people I’ve spent my JC life with. My CCA mates, the dancers, were a significant chunk, but above that, still, I put my class as number one. When I say people, it doesn’t just refer to my classmates, but also the teachers. All the various subject tutors that we had, who’ve painstakingly guide us through our retardedness and nonsensical intelligence, to groom us to be ready for the future. JC is such an experience.

I will miss my class, I already do, but everything has to come to an end. The class of 2SA1′09 just graduated, and graduation is just a phase, non congruent to the separation of the class, hence what jiayi said, ‘are you ready for the new beginning?’, I hope I am.

3 things I miss most about college. First would be assembly at the J1 seats. Looking at everybody being so sleepy, random chatting with classmates that we don’t usually talk to, interacting with my form tutor and see what did he not do that requires me to help him out again(like attendance sheet which he occasionally forgets, haha). Also there was this rule during our J1 time, that the class rep(that would be me) is supposed to sit beside the form tutor and the assistant would sit beside me, this is to facilitate any new information that needs to be passed down from the form tutor. In J2, since our form tutor switched, the rule was automatically nullified. But I enjoy the occasional J1 seating plan that despite us being J2s we have to abide to. Basically, I like sitting beside my assistant for weird reasons. The good thing was, despite nullification of the rule, she still sits beside me lol.

The 2 other things I miss most wouldn’t actually be about college, but what we do after college hours. Performances would be one, right after dance productions, we usually go out for celebrations, eatings, sharings and chilling out till the sun pops up the next day. Really cool. And the next thing I like would be the outings we have, with either class or CCA mates, which is usually accompanied with a lot of camwhoring.

I’m looking forward to exams, and the end of exams, and what comes after that =)

Capturing the essence of time,
is different from capturing time itself.
For the essence is usually buttered with lime,
like what being happy does to good health.
Capturing light, freezing moments,
colors our sight, with jovial omens.
Capturing the mood, looking back it lights up kindlings,
a mix of emotions so nude, appropriate for a happy ending;
or should I say, a new beginning?

So here’s some photographs:)

Climbing the school fence is one of those golden memories:)

My PW group, YTF! (yong tao foo)

Reaching out to others in the school community! haha

the pull-up bar with adi!

the truth and dare group, with jiayi crashing in!

the usual 4 retarded scholars! jump-shot @ failblog lol

2SA1 <3