What’s the ‘good’ in ‘goodbye’?

Farewells help you understand how deep your relationship ever was.
Farewells help you learn to cherish those around you better.
Farewells help you value what you have.
Farewells help you love.

…

Farewells, they bring sadness to my heart. No matter how rational I can think, no matter what the goodness of farewells that I can brainstorm, farewells, is something I never liked.

More of this, and I’m not sure how I’m gonna preserve my sanity. Thank God for vodka.

Words don’t come easy

Life is confusing. I don’t know what I want, what I should want, what I should believe.

I start questioning whether my philosophies, which I boast about so proudly all the time, if they were even doable in the real world. I start finding flaws in my value system, in the way in which I prioritize, and in ways in which I execute my actions. I start noticing, that if I continue to believe in what I used to believe, I’m gonna live a very miserable life. I start knowing, that I’m just human, and humans aren’t always the most superior a being one can exist as.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little inspiration.

A few wrong decisions, that’s all that I’ve done.
Never mind, it’s okay now. I just gotta run, to where it all begun.

I believe in miracles.

Its a miracle. The impossible is witnessed. God must have planned this for me. How can chicken rice cost only $1.30?!!

Oh God. Amen. o.0

How do I want to see myself growing old.

Attended some briefing, and I understand now why people kept telling me that I’m the top few percent of the nation. I understood what the presenter meant to tell us after the first run, ’cause it was so plainly straightforward. I could even explain certain portions that doesn’t concern me. The other 3 who are supposed to listen? Well. One asked stupid questions. One asked questions that have no answer yet. One didn’t understand. -.-” I should be supervisor seriously.

Anyways, was just thinking about how I want to grow old, ’cause I really feel damn old now haha. I guess I want to spend my free time spending my money in ways to enrich myself. THAT of course cannot be done yet since all I care about now is earning enough money for survival..I want to learn so many things. Gardening, cooking(all types of cuisine), bartending(making concoctions and my own magaritas yay), playing musical instruments, lock-picking(my bro is into that now), carpenting, key-smithing, boat building…blah~ the list goes on and on.

I think I’m gonna live an eventful life

You act like you care. Stop it.

My life is undergoing a series of unfortunate events. My laptop spoiled twice, once software and once hardware. Cost me almost 150 on them. My job had an unexpected twist in events. My phone plan got canceled. I read my chinese new year forecast in bugis today, and even that says my wealth/career condition is volatile and unpredictable.

Screw it, I’m gonna drink to my heart’s content, and dance in the moonlight.

Love, actually.

My life is so screwed up, because of so many twist in events. But I said the same thing, when my life was too peaceful that it was agonizingly boring.

Saturday was a lonely day, aimless and helpless. I was just floating around..Went for lunch with Jiayi and that really brightened me up a little, she has magical powers over me, made me feel like life is gonna be okay after all..and Lemin is so damn damn nice to me, she came to accompany me in my failed-job-hunt in town area hahaha. She’s starting to make me feel guilty.

Went out to have lunch with hazm n nic last sunday and I was laughing to them about my work tragedy. Bra(hazm) thinks its damn funny and its such a cool thing that stuff like that happen, ’cause now i got stories to tell. Nic looks like he just don’t give a ****. Ah well, these are the kind of friends whom I can trust, even tho I don’t really keep in touch with them much haha.

Today was a day of interviews. Except for the one which I was asked to get lost after she saw my citizenship status, the other 2 went really well and for some reason I managed to charm the employers:D Felt quite happy about myself. And yeap, soon enough, I will be back to my employed status:) Thank God for he is always there somehow.

Anxiety, fear of the broken last straw.

Today I learn never to count on something so much, that if things fail, there is no back up. Having only one way is equivalent to being suicidal. Being on the verge of collapsing, anxiety kicks in, and all that is left is helplessness and hope.

Walked in the rain, and you were all I could have thought about.

Yay, another day of work!

Today I learn that its not always a good thing to be proficient in something. Because I can type fast, the boss decided that my fate is to be a typist though I could’ve otherwise went up the career ladder. Sigh.

I moved in to tampines!

I was bathing halfway, in the common toilet-where the door lock isn’t working and the only sign that signals the innocent housemates out there of its vacancy is having a shut door-and all of a sudden, i noticed something behind me moved. YIKES! I JUST BUMPED INTO A TORTOISE!

=(

My landlady didn’t warn me that she had pets.  Its just plain weird.

Anyways work life is great so far, apart from the fact that all I do now in office is TYPE AND TYPE. I learned pretty much about how its like to live alone, and now I understand why friends are really SO IMPORTANT. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about connections, like those imagery friendship with hidden agenda, but I’m saying that friends are important for what they are meant to be – companions to accompany you across your hardships and routes of societal exploration. I’m happy to have many great friends, and now I’m starting to wonder, why are all my close friends in Singapore so far all girls? I mean, I’m not complaining, just that..you know, people will start commenting.

Living the hard life with a smile

Work work work. That’s all I do now. And trust me, the work ain’t recreational, but survival.

I’m now trying my luck as an independent man on his own in a dog eat dog world, working for his rice bowl and paying off rent, clinging onto the motion of daily working society in the hope of seeking peace in this bustling climate of Singapore. Dramatic as it sounds, I’m pretty impressed of how thrifty/cheapskate I can get now. Today I spent my entire day meals below 5 bucks, that’s even lower than my transport fare.  Tho it’s nothing to boast about since its only one day, but hey, I’ll try maintaining that man, now that I’ve gotten myself a place to stay that is close to my working place, I won’t need to spend on buses to work anymore!

Some say that I’m giving myself unnecessary stress and pressure of a grown adult, since I can actually just stay home in Malaysia and get a part time job. But I’m gonna do it, and each day I remind myself that this is not for my parents, and certainly not to prove anything to them, but to myself, and for myself. For my growth is controlled largely by my psyche, and this can be considered the rite of passage for me to mature further. Stress or no stress, I’ll taste what it’s like, and just like most college boys who just graduated, I’m now ready to take on the world. Or so I think..